I don't know it it's because we had a big going away party for one of my best nursing school friends last night, or if it's the color of my scrubs or what, but seemingly all the patients I've talked to today have chosen to unload their crushing emotional pain on me.

 

Normally I don't mind and can sometimes even help,  and I get it that I am helping just by offering a kind ear and some healing touch, wiping tears, that kind of thing....

 

But I started my shift already mentally fatigued, and everywhere I turn people are telling me that they want to die and hate their lives and have SO MUCH emotional baggage that I just don't feel equipped to deal with. It's like we've got a department full of trauma patients, but instead of broken bones, they've got broken lives. And how am I supposed to be therapeutic at all in an emergency department where I've only got 7 minutes until the next quasi-crisis erupts. I hate feeling like I'm giving them the same rushed lines that they get every time they come in to the ED or walk in clinic.... But I feel stuck.

 

And then there's the emotional exhaustion where I think.... PLEASE stop crying and unloading your life on me. I just don't have the strength to carry both of us. My heart aches for you, and I just want to save you, but I can't fix all your problems in a 2 hour stay in Emergency.

 

Sometimes I know the right thing to say, but a lot of the time I'm thinking..... O fuck. I can't think of a single thing. So I hold hands, I rub shoulders, I sit/stand in silence, I look compassionate.

 

Help me, emergency nurses!!! I need to learn how to let this stuff roll off me, or I feel like I am never going to make it in this specialty.

So it was SO FREAKING BUSY the other night. The back was stuffed full of sick people and new ones were coming in the door so fast we had two nurses out double-triaging for almost 2 hours. The theme of the night seemed to be chest pains or lacerations secondary to kicking glass/tables/sports equipment.

There were the usual WTF visits, like the mom who ABSOLUTELY had to get her kid "tested" for celiac disease in the middle of the night. At the ER. Where people were practically hanging from the rafters in the waiting room. The urgency? Well, she Googled a new diet and wanted to start him on it the next morning... "Can't I just see the doctor real quick?"

"No. I'm sure the other 25 people in the waiting room would like to see the doctor 'real quick', too." Then, after lipping off the triage nurse, she stormed out. Bye...

My first-ever witnessed case of military PTSD tonight. Query attempted suicide on benzos and ETOH. All I can think of is he had no other means to numb the chaos in his mind.

I don't necessarily believe in what the military *does*, but I do support the men and women who stand up for their country in one of the most honorable ways possible and the sacrifice they make in that choice.

But I think the sacrifice goes far beyond a tour of duty and service on the front line. I think that the military completely fails its troops once it's time to re-enter civilian life. In absence of psychological intervention, soldiers turn to any variety of things to numb their thoughts and dreams, and too many of them end up dead.

Thanks for serving your country, here is a sense of manly bravado, zero coping skills and tons of bad shit to deal with. Bye bye now!

Seriously, so sad. I just want to go all "The Cell" on him and hop inside his mind and bring some peace there.

-- from the cellular desk of undergrad RN

And I'm still troubled by it.

A young woman was brought in by police a self-inflicted laceration. At first it just seemed like your run-of-the-mill angsty teen cutting.

So I brought her in, pulled up a chair, and said..... "start from the beginning".

And she talked, and I listened, and she cried, and I held her hand.

http://www.twloha.com/vision/

Turns out this young mom, just a few weeks postpartum, was beat up by her husband. Lumps and bruises all over her. We had an inservice last term from a nurse who works in a women's shelter who talked about the dangers of strangulation in family violence; she had a big hand-sized bruise across her throat.

"But don't write any of that down," she said. "My hormones got the better of me. I was asking for it."

I told her about her resources and her options, but she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to acknowledge that her husband laid his hands on her, hurt her, scared her. Hurt her so much that she told me "if he hurt me, why shouldn't I hurt myself?" and she cut herself to cope.

I know family violence happens. I know that women statistically have to ask for help 7 times before they commit to a change... but part of me just wanted to shake her and say "you can do better than him! He CAN'T do that to you!"

I know all that but I still wanted to go and knock him out. I was really upset and talked about it with my fellow students and nurses, but man. I'm really bothered by this one.

At the end of it, I told her that if she EVER felt like she had nowhere safe to go, she could come to our ER and we'd take care of her. She burst into tears. What more could I say?

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption.  We're seeing it happen.  We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need.  People sitting across from a counselor for the first time.  People stepping into treatment.  In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline.  We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take.  We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.  - To Write Love On Her Arms

Saw my first compound fracture. The patient was in a looooottt of pain (probably made worse from the psychological aspect of seeing your bones). The proximal interphalangeal joint of the first digit (aka thumb joint) was dislocated and completely out of the skin. There was a very neat horizontal laceration. It just popped right out of there.

I was struck by the whiteness of the bone. Looked like a chicken bone.




http://bareessentialssportsmedicine.com/



The dislocation was reduced, the lac was sutured, and I think the pt was referred to an orthopedic surgeon and/or plastics for follow up.

More tales from the ER...

This is my 7th week in the ER. Adding up the hours, I'm probably at the equivalent of 4/5 weeks if this were a clinical rotation. I don't know how this has gone by so quickly. I only have 9 weeks left before I am finished my UNE position and I'm back in school for my final class-based semester. HOW did this happen? I look back on blog entries from 2 years ago when I was powering through Anatomy and Physiology. I walked into this school only knowing media concepts of nursing, and now I'm a neophyte, not-yet-licenced, practitioner of health care for real live people.

In our ER, all the shifts are pretty much the same. The only differences between days, evenings, and nights are the volumes of patients and the amount of sleep you get. For convenience, I'll describe a day shift.

0715: Oncoming nurses arrive. This hospital hires LPNs to cover peak periods at night, and UNEs during the summer (like me!); otherwise all nursing staff are RNs. Oncoming nurses are laden with junk food and Tim Hortons coffee.

0730: We gather at the nursing station for report. The off-going charge nurse gives report to the oncoming charge. She pulls up the electronic ER management program on the computer which shows a map of the ER with names, ages, triage scores, and triage notes for the admitted patients in their respective rooms. She goes over every patient and mentions pertinent details: when and if they've been seen by the MD, lab and x-ray results, precautions, assessment details, and discharge planning. The ER truly is the kind of place you start planning discharge as soon as they are admitted (mostly: how are they planning to get home?)

0745: Report's finished, so we clear out of the room so the off-going nurses can grab their stuff and go home. We gather at the charting station and scan over the charts there. Sticky notes are posted to each of the charts to remind us when the next set of vitals are due, what the last chem strip (aka blood glucose) was, or whether we need to hang a second bolus after the first one's finished. We usually check vitals q2h.

0800: V/S are all caught up and the unit clerk puts up a chart in the rack for Team 1, which is one side of the ER. Team 1 has 3 different nurses, and I float between Teams 1 and 2. So, whoever is on that team (or floating) and happens to be near the rack at that time will take the order, and this time it's me. I grab the chart and put on my MD-handwriting-analysis goggles. I decipher that the patient is to receive 30 mg of Toradol IV. I scan the initial assessment and see that the patient was admitted for back pain. No allergies to NSAIDs. I quickly check the previous orders and see that she has a 1L bolus of normal saline running already. Since I can't give IV push medications, I decide to hang a mini-bag secondary infusion. I check the parenteral manual and see that it can be diluted in 50 mL of N/S and calculate the drip rate. I head over to the Pyxis and pull out a vial of Toradol 30 mg/1 mL, do all my checks (I'm OCD about checks - terrified about med errors). I mix up the bag, label it, and prime the line. I head into the room, explain the med, do my final checks and then hang the mini-bag.

0825: Another order's up. It's a discharge for the patient in room 2 with a tooth abscess. She's to get 2 Percocet tabs now and 5 "to go", which means we send them home with PRN instructions. She's also got a prescription for Keflex and a referral to a social worker, which I interpret to mean that she probably can't afford a dentist. I pull the Percocet and put 5 into an envelope with instructions to take 1-2 tabs every 4-6 hours for pain. I bring the meds and give her our narcotic info sheet to sign. It basically says that they are not to drive or make life-altering decisions under the influence of narcotics. I explain the PRN instructions and give her the Keflex prescription, giving a quick and dirty explanation of the importance of taking all the antibiotics. I discontinue her IV and send her home. I quickly strip the bed, wipe everything down, and put on new sheets for the next person.

0845: So we now have an empty bed with 10 people in the waiting room. Room 2 is a "general use" kind of room (it doesn't have any specialized equipment), so I head to the rack at triage and pick up the next chart. It's a little boy who presented with a temperature of 38.9°C, with a dry cough, sore throat. He was given Tylenol as per the triage fever protocol, so I call him up and reassess his vitals before bringing him back. Temp's down to 37.5 (yay!) and I bring him and his mom into room 2. The little boy is "ILI positive" (influenza-like illness) and I place them on contact and droplet precautions. I chart my preliminary assessment at the bedside - antipyretic medicine effective, skin warm and dry, back of oral cavity is red and child c/o pain on swallowing. Neck nontender on palpation. Immunizations are up to date. Child is voiding regularly. Eating and drinking with no nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Mom was concerned because he had a history of febrile seizures and thought she should get him "checked out". Child has no allergies or medications that he takes regularly at home. No previous medical history except for the seizures.

0910: I head to the charting station and complete the chart and nursing notes, and report off to Team 1 on this new admission. There are no new orders so I catch up on reassessments on the admitted patients.

0930: No new orders, no patients to bring back, and the waiting room has 13 people in it. I head up to triage to help reassess those patients still waiting. The computer assigns timers to each of the triage code, so higher-acuity triage scores get flagged for reassessment more frequently. The trouble with reassessments is that people hear their name and think they are going into the back. They don't like returning to the waiting room. Another nurse tells me to call them up as "Mr. Franklin, for REASSESSMENT!" and set expectations from the get go. I get through about 5 reassessments and we are all caught up. I don't like sitting at the reassessment station because it faces the waiting room and I get evil death stares from the patients, and lots of people who think the ER is a turn-based facility and get angry when people go straight back from triage. I have a long history in customer service and it feels very, very good to let the customer know they are not always right.

1030: Break time! I get 30 minutes. I occasionally ride my bike to Tim Hortons for a steeped tea, yum! Before starting in the ER it was hard to convince myself to actually take breaks - too much to do, too much to see. I'm starting to appreciate them now, though ;)

1110: The charge nurse urges me to duck into the trauma room where a young person is getting an I&D on a massive leg hematoma. The MD uses procedural sedation and then incises the top of the wound. He laughingly tells us gawkers to stand clear because we could get hit with the spray. Between much bubbling, gurgling, and massaging, copious amounts of old blood and black clots come popping out of the wound. Amazingly, there is no smell to it. The MD packs it with not one but TWO full bottles of packing. We clean up and I dress the wound. The patient's leg is about half the size. It is amazing what the human body does.

1205: I pull Gravol and morphine to administer IM to a woman who scalded herself with the deep fryer. I am amazed at how quickly I can landmark ventrogluteal injections now. She doesn't even flinch, I'm not sure if that's a compliment to me, or a sign of how much pain she's in.

1235: A young guy is wheeled back from triage, after presenting with a sore head and neck after a MVC at 80 km/h. He was t-boned by a truck that ran a stop sign. He needs an IV started and I get all excited because he's under 30 and a weightlifter.... therefore great veins. I dash into the room with the IV cart. It still takes me forever but I am pleased to hit a vein on the back of his hand with minimal discomfort to him (or me). A senior nurse was waiting to push some morphine and she said she was pleased with my technique. Anytime a nurse with that kind of experience has something kind to say about a nursing-related topic, I always look over my shoulder wondering who they're talking to........

1305: A volunteer is wandering around the department looking bored. As a previous volunteer in this very ER, I know *exactly* how they feel. I make a point of delegating fun-yet-simple tasks to them. Please: Escort patient to x-ray. Make soup and toast for room 10. Clean suture tray from the trauma bay. I like talking with the volunteers because a lot of them aspire to be where I am - on the payroll :)

1340: Reassess vitals, hang new IV solutions, push meds, run ECGs as necessary. As a UNE, I'm like the go-to helper person. I can't do everything that an RN can do but I am an extra pair of hands.

1400: Break time! I have lunch in the break room with some of the newer grad RNs. Several of them were UNEs like I am now, and they came back to work in this ER because they loved it. So do I.

1435: A guy walks in from triage. Chest pain since last night. Patient is a 49 year old male, overweight with a lot of abdominal fat, diaphoretic throughout the night, family history of acute coronary syndrome. I get him into a gown and run an ECG on him. I'm not very good at interpreting rhythms, but even I can see that the time elapse during the QRS wave is loooonggggg. I don't know much but I know bad when I see it. We move him into the trauma/code bay. MD says it looks like an NSTEMI. The RNs begin the heart response protocol and get multiple IV accesses. Someone thrusts a bottle of nitroglycerine at me to hang. I've never hung a bottle before. I poke at it a couple of times and then give it to an RN to show me how it's done. I can, however, prime a N/S line, so I do that while I watch. Once his lines are in, I stand by the chart and write down all the stuff as it's called out - vitals, new line insertions, nitro drip started at 1450, etc.

1525: Oncoming shift has arrived! They pile into the report room.

1530: The unit clerk has booked transport for the NSTEMI to be transferred to a cardiology unit at a major hospital. In the meantime I round on the other patients. It's amazing what a warm blanket will do for someone who feels like they've been waiting too long.

1535: I finish rounding on all of the admitted patients and make sure everyone is looked after before shift change.

1540: Transport arrives. They pack the patient into the EMS stretcher, receive report as they secure him,  and roll him out. I clean the room, ready for the next patient.

1545: I head home, and the next shift begins....

So after my IV Start Lab a couple of weeks ago, I headed to the ER for an evening shift. As a newly "certified" (whatever that means, lol) IV starter - and bedazzled with my official IV Certification Pin (no, I wasn't wearing it, I just think it's hilarious that I now have one) - I was pumped to get my 3 supervised starts in and become proficient at that most intimidating of nursing skills: IV starts.

[mini-rant]
I wish that laypeople would stop using the "IV Experience" as the sum evaluation of their interaction with nurses. How many times have people found out that I'm in nursing school, only to launch into a tirade about their latest hospital stay -

"I had a terrible nurse! She had to poke me with the IV TWICE!", or
"This one nurse was useless, she couldn't get an IV started, so she got another nurse who got it on the first try!", or
"The last time I was here the OTHER nurse had no problem.", or
"The nurse got it in but she must have done something wrong because now I have a BRUUUISE" or,
"My nurse was great. She got the IV started and I barely felt it."

How many other factors are involved here? Location, skill, gauge, hydration, BLIND LUCK? Seriously!
[/rant]

Obviously I'm a little miffed.

So, that shift I picked up a chart and was positively beaming when I saw it was a pt in for IVT who needed a new line put in. So I hustled in there and got all set up, grabbed one of the senior RNs to observe me, got allllll prepped and then....

Tourniquet on.
Examine arms. Nothin'.
Dangle arms. Warm compress to arms. Nothin'.

Except.... the RN peers over my shoulder and points out one tiny thready vein over the patient's knuckle. My very first stick - this could be it! I grab a 22 and try not to sweat onto my patient as I hover the ONC... take aim.... GO GO GO!! And I went. Flash in the chamber and I attempted to thread it and.... nothing! The catheter stopped dead like it hit a wall. Or a knuckle.

Pasting on a smile I deferred poke #2 to the RN. To my relief, though, she also had a lot of trouble finding a good vein - it wasn't just me! That pt took about 5 pokes before we got her with a 24.

That was it for my tries that night.

Sunday morning I'm back in the ER and I told everyone that I was ready to get my 3 starts!!

So the charge RN grabs me at about 1100 to start a line on a guy who was in for severe abd pain. She gives me a 20 and I get to vein hunting. I find a decent one on the back of his hand and prep for the insertion. I am positively STRESSED, though, because the guy was writhing in pain and anxious++ about getting the stick. I'm stressed because he's watching, his wife's watching, and the RN (a very intimidating woman with no real tact filter) was hovering over my shoulder giving very very precise instructions and I just about stroked out from the pressure. I go for the stick and he is actually kicking his feet on the bed. I feel pretty much as bad as can be felt because I can't get the vein. I don't want to be "THAT nurse", the one who fishes the needle around, so I give it about 2 more seconds and I pull the needle out. The RN says she'll take over and she gets a line in. She then yells out and asks one of the RNs to help me do an ECG on him.

That pretty much did it for me. I'm quite confident with ECGs. I do at least 5 of them a shift. So, shellshocked and fighting back my feelings of inadequacy, I "help" the other RN get the leads on him and then bail out of there before I do something embarrassing like cry on my patient.

The charge RN calls me up to the desk - "I need you to document the unsuccessful starts." As I'm standing there, reeling from the overwhelming emotions from the last 15 minutes, she began critiquing my IV attempt. "That's not how WE learned it in school," she says, and I kind of croaked out an answer while trying to keep my cool. She kept critiquing my approach and then one of the newer grad nurses caught my eye with sympathy and that pretty much did it. Yup, I started sniffling, and then a wee tear escaped my eye, and then the emotional dam burst and I got all kinds of upset.

The charge kind of gave me a side hug and told me I'd get it next time, and to go sit down in the back and collect myself. So I went, to try and pull myself together.

But I wasn't upset that I didn't get the IV. It wasn't that at all. It was this overwhelming sensation of being completely UNETHICAL - here I was, barely a full day out of the IV lab with a mere 2 starts on my young male lab partner with great veins, and essentially PRACTICING on patients. Really, that's what it was (and is). I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm practicing on human beings, and it HURTS them, and that's what bothers me most of all. I am hurting people in my attempts to learn. I am more okay with it hurting AND a successful start, but to hurt people like that and to miss the vein.... wow, I hate that so much.

Don't get me wrong. I do completely understand that the only way to learn this skill (and any nursing skill, really, but this is kind of the Big Deal) is by practicing on anybody and everybody. Nobody was born knowing how to thread an 18 into a capillary (I jest ;) but it just really bothers me that my learning is coming at the expense of someone's well-being. More or less. You know what I mean?

I just wish there was a way to get real experience without real people. Those dummy arms are a joke. They help you get the psychomotor action of retracting the needle and applying Tegaderm but that's about it. The "skin" is riddled with holes, the "veins" are rigid and approximately the size of fire hoses, and there is no traction required.

So I was quite emotional from all of these thoughts, plus the incident with the charge, plus another incident that morning where I'd sent a female pt to xray before her preg results had come back (not entirely my fault, plus what the hell does BRV mean, but I still felt awful and had these pictures in my mind of a 17 year old boy with severe deformities because I'd sent his mom to xray without realizing he existed). The results were negative. But still.

Nursing is a tough job. Emotionally tough. There really aren't that many jobs in the world where if you made a mistake, any mistake, someone is instantly and often severely affected. Even if you had no idea you were making a mistake (like how I did not think to check the chart for other orders before I took the pt to xray), BAD THINGS can happen. And they can happen to good people, be they patients or healthcare providers.

Anyway. After all of this went down, all I wanted was for 1530 to come so I could go home and forget this day ever happened.

I was charting when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Michelle, one of the younger nurses on the unit. I'd been buddied with her before and found her to be kind, knowledgeable, and pleasant to be around. She beckoned me into the clean utility room and gave me a great big hug.

"I understand how you're feeling today. We've all been there. But you can do this! You CAN start an IV! You WILL start an IV! And you will be good at it! In fact, it is my personal mission to get you an IV start before I go on holidays."

We discussed my technique and what I was doing wrong. Michelle thought I was blowing the veins by going in at too steep an angle. "But school said we should enter at 45 degrees until we hit the vein, then drop down to 15 degrees to thread it?"

"Forget that!" she laughed, "I almost ALWAYS go in at a low angle, especially those superficial veins."

It was pretty close to the end of the shift so I didn't think that would happen. However, 1500 rolled around and Michelle was waving a chart at me from across the unit. "Do you want to try?" she asked excitedly, "it's an 80 year old man!" She handed me a 20.

Wow. A 20 gauge in 80 year old veins. And with my 6-inch-tall confidence and emotional lability.

"You can do it!"

I walk in the room and find the guy there with his wife. Michelle is right behind me. She's offered to smoothly swoop in if things don't look like they are going well.

Tourniquet on.
Examine arms.

HOLY SMOKES there are ropes of blue up this guy's arms. I feel like I could thread a gauge the size of my pinky in there. Confidence surges briefly. Here we go....

Patient starts muttering that he hates needles. Wife tells him to suck it up.

I aim the needle at 45 degrees, catch myself, and drop it down to 20 or less. One, two, three, POKE! GO GO! I hit the vein right away. I remember to push the needle in a tiny bit more and then thread the catheter, which slips right in. We draw the labs. The vials shoot full of red. We hook up the line and run the bolus, which drips rapidly in the chamber. It was a good one!!!! :D :D I have to stop myself from beaming at this guy and dancing out of the room because I am SO glad that I got my first IV on a real patient on the same day as my bad experience.

So Michelle, although you'll probably never read this, THANK YOU.

For the record, I've had more failed attempts than successful ones, but I've now started 5 IVs, and all the ones I started I got on the first poke. It's getting easier, especially now that I can start them independently. I remember a post I was reading on allnurses to help me get better at IV initiation. One nurse said that when she was working, she told everyone that she got the first 2 pokes on every patient to come in the doors. She didn't shy away from the scary ones because how else was she going to learn?

Truth.

So I had TLC's Untold ER Emergencies (or whatever it's called) going in the background while I cleaned the house yesterday. The case patient had occasional episodes of catatonia and paralysis of a limb. It was a different limb each time. The patient's husband was a super-seekrit military pilot who went away on missions for weeks at a time and he had no contact with his family.

Immediately, sez I, "CONVERSION DISORDER"

25 minutes later, after all the exciting build-up of symptoms and escalating drama...

Yup, it was conversion disorder.

Here I thought I forgot everything from Mental Health!

---

Speaking of mental health, I summoned every ounce of courage I had and volunteered to do the admission for someone who was suicidal the other day. It was optional for me but one of the nurses encouraged me to go for it.

Even in my Psych rotation I never asked anyone if they were suicidal.

It truly wasn't the difficult conversation I thought it would be. Patient was an older lady, landed immigrant, here for 30 years, her only family was her husband and children. She missed her extended family, missed "back home".

I just kind of winged it but I asked her lots of questions about her mood lability and got her to rate her emotional intensity. Then I asked if she ever thought of hurting herself or anyone else when she felt like her emotions were out of control. She answered in the negative and we moved on in the assessment.

If she'd have answered yes, my next question would have been "do you have a plan?" and we would proceed from there.

Honestly, the hardest part about the question of Are you suicidal? is asking it.

So last night was super busy, again, only it was more busy than I've ever seen it, and with actually sick people. So as a UNE, my big helper job is to reassess patients in the waiting room as their names come up on the triage screen.

Being at the window facing the waiting room, of course, means that I am that I am the prime target for those asking how long the wait was going to be. I'm still trying to find a way to say "a long time" or "hopefully soon" without actually telling them a TIME because that's when they will be coming up to the window thinking they are going back. And unfortunately the back was full of really sick people who weren't going anywhere.

I call up one girl to the desk for reassessment and she is doubled over in pain, dragging her feet, arms over her tummy. She sits down and I reassess her vitals. Abdo pain is increased since arrival. Feels nauseous. Has not vomited. She had to wait quite a while to get to the back, because of the dearth of beds.

So a while later, I am zipping around cleaning rooms and I walk by hers.....gown on the bed.

"Wha?" I said, possibly out loud. I don't remember her being discharged. I go to the computer and she is still showing as admitted.

Mystified, I go back to the room to make sure she hadn't gone to x-ray or something. Nope, gown on the bed, and hey, is that her IV ripped out? Yes, yes it is.

Has the rapture come and stolen her away? She seemed to be really in pain. I asked a nurse who said she'd gotten a morphine shot and her kids were fighting so she decided to go home. Without being discharged? Okay...

---

In other news, last night was the night staff started calling me out on mistakes. Which is good, and all, but I felt a little blindsided because they were things no one had previously told me about.

For instance I was asked to bring some people back and I wrote them up for the chart. But I didn't start nursing notes on them because I thought that was done by the nurse on that team. So picture my surprise when I am in the middle of a dressing change and a (fairly intimidating) nurse comes up to me and asks where so-and-so's nursing notes were, because he'd been back for a couple hours and they needed to chart his vitals. Then when she learned I hadn't started them, she walked away saying "bad nurse, bad nurse". Unfortunately there was a little kid also sitting there who then asked her mom what "bad nurse" meant. Umm..

Then the charge saw me and told me I needed to start nursing notes on all the patients I brought back, because so-and-so was a Triage 3 and he was being transferred out, and he hadn't had vitals done in however-long. I think my cheeks were a new shade of red.

Later, I was sitting at the reassessment window and a guy comes in with a kid. I see the kid and he looks pale but alive. Dad says "hey, my kid's having an asthma attack". I pause, at a loss for what to do. No one has told me what to do or who to call if this happens. The triage nurse is busy with another person and the last time I interrupted the triage nurse (a different one) with someone who was worried, she told them to sit down and wait for triage. So I told this dad the same thing - just wait in the chairs and the triage nurse will assess you. The dad kind of glowered at me but they went and sat down. Then the kid got triaged a few minutes later satting at 88% with decreased air entry, tripodding, and in-drawing. Oh my gosh I felt so bad. I talked with some of the nurses about it later and they said that there was a sign for SOB/chest pain to report immediately at the window. The kid was admitted quickly and stayed back for pretty much the rest of my shift. I was also quite humbled because when I looked at the kid briefly, he looked fine to me. I obviously have a lot to see and learn about kids and SOB in general.

Then I was asked to bring another person back who was a ?cardiac patient with history of stroke. I did her ECG, brought her back, put her in the room they told me to, put her on the monitor, wrote up her chart, AND yes I wrote up her nursing notes. Then, a few hours later, a different fairly-intimidating nurse comes up to me and says hey, you need to report off to one of the team members when you bring someone back. What if she crashed and we didn't know what was going on?

So again, I felt like I screwed up without knowing that I was screwing up because this wasn't something that they really emphasized in my buddy shifts.

So I learned last night that it is better to communicate TOO MUCH than NOT ENOUGH. Tell at least 3 people what you're doing, and possibly also the charge nurse. Don't feel bad about interrupting, when necessary, because the alternative is not good.

Lessons learned in the ER.

It was 4 in the morning and we'd been steadily bringing patients back all night:

• a very large woman with a nasty wet cough satting around 85% on room air (her chest x-ray was almost white)
• a frail grandma who had just finished radiation for cancer, who came in at midnight because she couldn't sleep and felt nauseous
• a kid who'd been maced (by security?) at an event
• a guy with inverted P waves admitted for stabbing chest pain - turns out someone placed the ECG leads wrong, he was fine with some Toradol
• a young couple and their weeks-old babe with diarrhea
• a gangbanger who punched through glass instead of his girlfriend, but seriously sliced his arm just proximal to the medial epicondoyle - deep lac was about 4 inches long and gaping about 3 inches wide - the police found him by following the trail of blood down the street

It was hopping in the ER. I was running ECGs back-to-back, taking specimens to the lab, and herding someone's 5 children under the age of 10 that she decided to bring with her to the ER without extra supervision. One of the docs left at 0300 so we were down to just one doc until 0600 and of course that's when things started to get hairy. Our nurse at triage decided to hang out in the back and keep an eye on triage using the security cameras, because all of the people with sore throats and vomiting in the waiting room kept shooting her death stares.

We had one lady on cardiac observation, the guy with the inverted P waves taking up our peds trauma bed, and another guy came in about 2 weeks post-CABG with crushing chest pain, tachycardia, and a-fib (tachy a-fib? or is it just that it was reading the extra atrial beats as the actual pulse rate? forgive me, cardiology nurses, for I know not what I don't know!), the gangster with the arm lac woke up from his drunken snooze and started howling, the grandma who couldn't sleep still hadn't been seen, the kid who got maced needed a shower, all 5 of the loose children started getting tired and cranky, and the young couple thought we were ignoring them and kept hovering around the desk with babe in arms.

So despite the madness of those three hours, I rolled with it, because the staff were so awesome to witness. This wasn't their first barn dance. With one swoop, the nurses got the kids cozy with some coloring books, told the young couple that they WOULD BE SEEN but not NOW, got the maced kid into the shower, buried grandma in 5 warm blankets (and lo, she fell asleep!), soothed the gangster back to sleep until he could be seen, and all of a sudden the charge nurse pulled me into the other trauma room and said "watch this".

The guy with a-fib was just signing his consent for conscious sedation and attempted cardioversion. They placed the electrodes sandwich-style on his left chest and back, snowed him with fentanyl and propofol, and set the current. Then the physician gave the go ahead. The nurse called CLEAR and made sure we were all back before pushing the shock button. The guy went rigid and then limp.

"Owwwwww," he groaned, motioning to his chest.

We all watched the rhythm as it settled into normal sinus for a few beats....and then blip, blip, blip-blip-blip his heart rate climbed back up to 140 and we saw the beats become irregular again.

The physician ordered a higher electrical current. ALL CLEAR! Shock given. Normal sinus, and then a-fib.

Again, higher current, shock, normal sinus, and then a-fib.

The physician decided to discontinue the cardioversion and instead just hold the patient until he could be admitted to cardiology in the morning.

A couple of hours later, the new doctor was coming on so I pulled someone out of the waiting room for the first time in hours. I looked in the chart. Sore throat x 3 weeks with slight cough, no fever, nontender palpation of lymph nodes. Came in at 0300 on the Saturday of a long weekend (and waited 3 hours) for....what, exactly? A throat swab and dispo with abx...

And then it was 0700 and the gangster was getting his arm stitched up. I played doctor's helper and held the pt's arm in an awkward superman position, while also running to grab sutures and stuff since, although the doc had the suture cart right there, he had managed to turn it so I couldn't get into it, and he was sterile so away I went. It was worth it though because it was awesome to watch him pull the lips of the lac together and get it sewn up. There was a large vein that had to be tied off. He started in the middle of the lac and guessed where to start sewing. After a couple of false starts he got it evenly joined and worked his way out to either end, and then filled in the gaps. All together I think there were 10 sutures. It was neat to watch him pull the edges together , all the subcutaneous fat kind of popped out and sqooshed all over the place. Once he was done, it looked amazingly clean. Especially considering the amount of blood I'd washed off his arm, and how much had caked onto his pants.

I applied a dressing of adaptic, 2x2s, 4x4s, and cotton wrap. Then the oncoming day nurse told me to go home.... so I did :)

*Pinches self* I can't believe I get paid for this. I LOVE EMERGENCY NURSING!

Captain's Log, 0350, 13 May: Halfway through first night shift, ever. Total census: 1 stable patient held overnight for observation. Studying for Sociology midterm in 5 hours. Feeling good about my risky move to work the night before a test.
-- from the cellular desk of undergrad RN

I am super pleased to report that my first buddy shift on the floor was absolutely awesome. Emergency nursing is like nothing else I have experienced in clinicals. In one shift, I was exposed to so many different presenting complaints and patient populations, it was like my entire clinical rotation on fast forward. Nancy, my precepting buddy nurse (it changes every shift) last night, was really great to work with. She's been at this ER since it opened and has been an emergency nurse since forever. And, importantly, she still loves it. I didn't get the whole burnout vibe at all, from anyone.

So for anyone who hasn't had exposure to emergency nursing before, I will try to elaborate what the flow is like. This particular ER doesn't assign specific patients. They have recently implemented team nursing, so a bunch of nurses will be assigned to a wing and work together to meet the needs of all of those patients. My preceptor was assigned to float between the two teams, as well as cover charge and triage for breaks.

My shift started at 1530 and we took report from the off-going charge. I noticed that the report went very quickly, identifying only the chief complaint and how long they'd been there, and any labs that needed to be drawn.

We toured the unit and she pointed out all of the equipment in the different rooms. I've been volunteering on that unit since November but it was cool to see it through fresh/knowledgeable eyes. There is a minor procedures room, orthopedic casting room, EENT (eyes, ears, nose, throat) exam room, 4 stable beds, 4 fast track beds, 4 monitor/observation beds near the desk, 2 gyne/peds rooms, 2 trauma/resuscitation rooms, 1 reverse isolation/positive pressure room, and 1 secure room with superstrength door and optional camera monitoring.

morganlens.com

After the tour, we got started with the day. Nancy went out to the triage desk to admit the first patient. We had a look at the rack of charts from the triaged patients and it wasn't too busy. She picked a triage level 5, a young guy who got some metal in his eye while welding. We called him from the waiting room and saw that his v/s were taken less than an hour ago so we didn't need to reassess them. We took Eye Guy back to the EENT room and I gave him a Snellen test to assess his bilateral visual acuity. It was cool because he sat in a chair like at the optometrist and I flicked the different letter sizes across the wall in the dark. Not something we learned in clinical (it had been briefly mentioned in lab, I think, in our assessment class in second year), and here I was administering it to my first patient on my first day :) Nancy was very supportive of me doing my own thing to help out instead of just being her shadow and I was glad for her guidance. You know how it is, sometimes you just need that push to go out there and put theory into practice!! There was some talk about administering a Morgan lens, as we learned about in orientation, but I'm not sure what happened with him after all.

Like a lot of you, I think, I have followed a ton of emergency nurse blogs since well before nursing school in 2008, including those of the illustrious Nurse K, Girlvet, and NNR, newer ones like newnurseinthehood and Maha, and newer-to-me torontoemerg. Like you I have uttered many a guffaw and/or facepalm at the stuff people do to end up in the ER at odd hours when other people, such as myself, would much rather be home in bed. I am (pleased? saddened? resigned?) to report that I saw several examples yesterday in one shift alone that amazed me, especially in terms of my rosy nursing school glasses.

My next admission was a young man with throat tattoos (listen, I LOVE tattoos. I have two large ones myself. But I have never seen a throat tattoo that I didn't immediately associate with Tapout) dressed head to toe in Ed Hardy who came to visit us with a migraine. Okay, I've had migraines as a teenager. All I could do, once I got the visual disturbance aura, was get home ASAP so I could lie in bed in dark silence and barf my guts out while praying for it to be over. Seriously, the ED is the LAST place I'd want to have a migraine. This young man did not exhibit any of these symptoms. I'm not sure what he got discharged with, but I think he waited a while.

San Francisco General Hospital

I saw my first conscious sedation, an older man who tripped and fell and dislocated his wrist. It's the first reduction I've ever seen. The physicians snowed him with fentanyl/propofol until he would not react to them touching his eyelids. They then grabbed his little frail old arm and reefed on it until it went back into place with a couple of clicks. One guy held traction down on the wrist while the ortho tech put on a cast. First time I've seen all of those procedures. It was very cool. Initially I was squirming inside because the patient was obviously feeling the pain of the reduction, moaning and grimacing. It kind of flew in the face of everything I've seen so far. One of the nurses caught my expression and said "don't worry, he won't remember it." And he didn't - I walked past his room an hour later and he was sitting up admiring his new cast and chatting amicably with the physician who had been poking him in the eyeballs to check his response.

Another interesting thing was a little boy who had stuck a not-so-little bead up his nose. I have never worked in peds before outside of postpartum and preschool participatory observation for a few days. I had no idea what they would do. The RN grabbed him and wrapped him in a full-size swaddle, pinning first one arm and then the other as they rolled him tightly into a sheet like a little sausage. I helped to hold him still as the physician tried to excavate the bead via suction. No dice, but one of the nurses found a metal tool that bends at the tip when you press the trigger and they threaded that through the bead. Success! I was amazed at how big it was. Wonder how it fit up there in the first place!

A few other things I saw -

• The ortho tech showed me how to do a wrist assessment to help decide which carpals were affected, and determine which x-rays to order
• Nancy starting IVs so fast she made it look easy, and I was consumed with envy
• A roughed-up prisoner who got into quite the scrap (I've never seen someone look that, well, beat up before)
• A little baby with a case of Grade A diaper rash
• Oozing shingles pustules
• An ECG on a woman with a heart condition and chest pain - she was graduated to an observation bed. Her husband peppered me with questions about why she was getting a N/S infusion and why they ordered what tests they did, and, MOST importantly, how long they would have to be there. Apparently there are places more important to be than in the hospital ruling out MI...
• Query fish bone stuck somewhere deep in a guy's upper GI, not sure what they did with that one
• Nancy also volunteered me to admit a query anaphylaxis reaction. Lady had hives on her tongue and reported throat closure/swelling. I was pleased when my brain suggested I auscultate and listen for evidence of decreased air entry. So I busted out my stethoscope and listened to her perfect breath sounds all the way down to the lower lobes. Nancy approved of this and had me chart it. I think my hand shook a little as I signed my new designation, haha :)

My shift was a total whirlwind. Literally every admission was different from the next. We covered triage for a while and I was a bit taken back by how every sick person coming into the ER was seriously inches away from our faces. Yuck. One of the nurses told a story at lunch about how an angry guy with "back pain" launched himself at her, through the window, when she wouldn't put him back right away. Yeah, past the gray diaphoresing guy reporting crushing chest pain.

I saw way more things in one day that I saw in weeks at clinical. I seriously loved it, every minute. I was also super grateful for the extremely kind staff who were more than happy to show me cool things and ask me tough "thinky" questions.

I can't believe I get paid for this!!! I would have been there for free. Wait, don't tell that to my boss..

Can't wait for my next shift tomorrow :)