So early in my nursing school adventure, I daydreamed about what the upper-level classes would be like. Well, not really the 400-level courses since they seem kind of dry by title alone: Future Directions of Nursing, Leadership, Bioethics of Health Care. I was so excited about the 2nd and 3rd year stuff. Lab skills, patho, assessment. I remember, shortly after I was accepted into the program, staring at the curriculum and wondering who and what I'd be like once I'd gotten to where I am now. I remember seeing myself in some nebulous idyllic clinical representation, the essence of confidence and expert nursing skills, making effortless profound impacts in the life trajectories of my patients. Hahaha :)

Well, as you know if you've been here or if you've read my blog for any length of time - there's really no such thing as effortless at this stage. I overthink the hell out of every move I make, either before I enter the patient's room, or as I lie awake in bed wondering if I did or said the right thing. My romantic ideas of nursing are muddied further by challenging instructors, complex work-school-life balancing, and learning to navigate coworkers and professional relationships.

Anyway, I guess I'm trying to say that my reality is both laughably departed from what I imagined, and in some ways exactly what I hoped it would be.

So that brings me to this year. These courses which I just viewed as the last necessary steps to my final placement and -at last!- status as Registered Nurse. I thought this semester would be the longest one of my life.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I LOVE this semester and everything about it. We're already 4 weeks in, with 9 weeks to go before finals. Through divine intervention, or a reasonable facsimile, all of my classes have amazing instructors, including some of my favorites from years past.

The biggest difference this year from previous years is the distinct lack of rote memorization. I don't have any lame keywords to memorize for the final. It's like we spent the last 3 years learning (and forgetting a lot of) that kind of micro-knowledge. My lectures this term are all big-picture discussions. We don't spend so much time convincing each other what nursing's supposed to be (since none of us actually know, anyway). We actually talk about realities of nursing, as seen through our experiences in clinical and as UNEs. Macro stuff like is this congruent with what we imagined? Where is nursing as a profession, and where do we think it should be?

Another thing I love is how empowering my instructors are. They are always reminding us about who the future of nursing is, and how it's up to us to make it into what we think nursing needs to be.

I leave every class with my mental wheels turning. I've been known to jokingly complain to my friends about how META my classes are. Seriously, this semester makes me so happy! I think it's shaping up to be my favorite one out of this whole program.

Right now I'm working on my first paper for this term. It's a review of a pop-lit book on leadership. I'm reviewing the book "Primal Leadership" by Goleman. It's kind of a long-winded project since I have to finish the book before I start the paper (due Friday), and amidst my already packed reading schedule it's been kind of a grind.

In other news, I will be working the flu immunization clinics this year. Orientation for that is on Thursday. I fully expect to be amazing at IM injections by Christmas ;)

Thanks to those who added me on Google+ so far! You rock :D