This post will be short since I'm posting from my phone.

One of our classmates died a few weeks ago. I didn't know her well but I'd heard she was a cancer survivor.. She then got into NS and busted her ass for 2 years like the rest of us, got married to her highschool sweetheart last summer, and by September she was too sick to come back to school. I heard it was lung ca.

At the time it was sad but I didn't take it to heart. However for the last few days, the universe has conspired to bring hospice, mortality, and the randomness of cancer to the forefront. My classmate died, I had a bad dream about my beloved grandparents (they are mid-80s), and I spent all day Sunday working on my cancer nursing certificate and learning about genetic mutations. Then my class yesterday was about caring for dying patients. Then I found out a family friend was being treated for bone ca.

All the while wondering why her? Why now? Why not me? Why my dad? How is her family? How is her husband dealing with this?

And just wondering.... Man, why am I even considering oncology? This is so hard.

But the more I think about it.... If I can be THAT nurse, the one who took the gentlest, kindest care of your loved one as he/she left this world, who made sure pain was as distant a memory as it could be, who focused as much as possible on comfort and family strength...

If I can be THAT nurse -

What an incredible thing I can do for families who need it so much.

-- from the cellular desk of undergrad RN